Couple in Trouble Over Sex
We live in a messed up world, especially when it comes to sex, and we are paying a high price for it. According to a new study by Oregon State University many young couples are not even in basic agreement about whether or not they have agreed to have sex just with one another or to have an open relationship. The researchers studied the responses from 434 heterosexual married and un-married couples between the ages of 18 to 25. What they found in 40% of the couples was one partner thought they had an agreement to be monogamous, while the other believed there was no such pact. What is even more disturbing is that among the couples who said they did have a joint commitment to only have sex with each other almost 30% had broken that commitment with at least one person having sex with someone outside of their relationship. Unfortunately the news only gets worse. One could hope that those who were married were more committed to monogamy than couples living together. We would also all hope that couples that have children would be even more committed to monogamy. The study showed, however, that married couples were no more likely to have a commitment to monogamy than those who lived together, and amazingly couples with children were even less likely to agree on monogamy. While many today rejoice they have sexual freedom and are not bound to old traditions and stuffy restrictions, they do not realize the long-term devastation this causes. Every society throughout human history has set guidelines for what is and is not appropriate sexual activity. While these guidelines are a little different from one society to the next even ancient and primitive cultures found out that when you allow everyone to have sex with anyone they choose the culture is destroyed. Families are destroyed, and the women and children pay the highest price. Unfortunately it appears that we will have to learn that lesson all over again. As a pastor I see on a regular basis the devastating results of our sexual freedom. In our culture you are free to choose to have sex with anyone you want, but you are not free to choose the consequences. The pain of broken relationships, broken marriages, and betrayed trust is overwhelming. The key to stability and joy in a relationship is commitment. Many young people reject commitment because they believe it limits their freedom. Truth is, commitment provides just that. It provides a much greater freedom in the end. When God first created man and woman he established his principle and ideal of one man marrying one woman for life. The bible tells us to, ³Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery (Hebrews 13:4). God is not anti sex. He is the one who created it in the first place. He knows far better than we do how powerful and bonding sex can be. The bible tells us we bond in some supernatural way to each person we have sex with. God says sex is so holy and precious that it only reaches its full potential and joy in a committed marriage relationship. To abuse sex is like drinking poison cool aid, it tastes good at first, but it will cause great pain and destruction. Trust that God is smarter than we are and commit to only have sex with the person you are currently married to. You will be forever grateful you did, and so will your children and grandchildren.
