What I Wish I Had Known About God 35 Years Ago
In some ways it seems like yesterday I walked across that stage in Fort Worth Texas to receive my Masters of Divinity degree from Southwestern Baptist Seminary, and in some ways it seems like a million years ago. I was ready to attack hell with a water gun and take on all challenges. I had a college degree, a seminary degree, and a strong faith. As a 24-year-old I had life, God, and the Bible pretty well figured out. The problem is you don¹t know what you don¹t know, and I had no clue how much I did not have figured out. Thankfully I was not alone in this journey of faith and life. I got a great reminder of this journey several weeks ago when we got with seven couples who were in seminary with us and the pastor of the church we all attended 30 years ago. This reunion was a rich and rewarding experience. The format of the weekend was based around the question, ³What I wish I had known about God, marriage, and ministry 35 years ago.² What was fascinating to me was how similar the spiritual journeys had been for many of us at that reunion in ways none of us ever expected. We all had degrees in theology and had studied what the Bible and theologians said about God. In addition we all had a strong faith in Christ and knew him in a personal way. One thing we all have learned in 35 years is when you think you have God figured out there is still far more you don¹t understand. We all agreed that we were more convinced than ever in the foundational truths Scripture teaches. We are all confident in the core message of the gospel. We all believe Christ loves us and that through a personal relationship with him we can enjoy an abundant life here on earth and eternity with him. We all also experienced the truth that Christ will never leave us or forsake us. What we wish we had known was how difficult the journey was going to be; then again maybe it was good we did not know. I knew Jesus said that we would suffer and go through trials and difficulties. I realize now, however, I was convinced that if I prayed hard, exercised faith, and walked in communion with God nothing really serious would happen to me or my family. I believed I could claim all sort of biblical promises as mine, even though they were originally given to others in biblical times. When I was an associate pastor I prayed with a group of over 1000 for the healing of our senior pastor. God said ³no² and took him home. I prayed for the life of my unborn child. He died. I asked God to protect my children only to have them get beat up. Some church members verbally and emotionally assaulted me. I had dreams dashed. And all this was in the first five years of ministry. At the same time God answered many prayers, healed the sick, and brought us great joy. I wish I had known that God refuses to fit neatly into any box I make for him. Life is not cut and dry, and God does not have to do what I want him to do. I also wish I had known how completely faithful God is even in the midst of the greatest trials of life. A life with Christ is the only life worth living.
